There are not too many people that look for conflict or are eager for conflict in their lives. In fact, I would argue that most find ways to escape or avoid any form of conflict. It can be really uncomfortable, expose some truths we may not want to hear, bring emotions that are difficult to navigate and bring more challenges to navigate. What it may also bring though is, insight into various behaviors or feelings, the start of positive change, a healthy release of unspoken feelings, opportunity for growth, courage gained, validation and truths seen.
Being able to hold difficult conversations doesn’t only apply to when speaking with others but also with ourselves. Having the courage to face certain things is, yes, scary, but it is also BRAVE and brings the opportunity for change!
So, what are some tools or steps to use when becoming involved with a difficult conversation?
List or state your intentions.
o What would you like the outcome to be from this conversation?
o What feelings would you like to exist?
o Who would you like to be involved?
Organize your thoughts.
o Writing a letter first to the party/parties involved helps you to better articulate your thoughts.
o Read over and adjust as needed.
o Be aware of the environment in which you invite difficult conversations. Creating a space that enables you to speak, feel heard and have other parties involved also feel heard is extremely important.
o Use a tone that embodies the end goal “feeling” you would like to accomplish.
o When we are speaking in an angry tone to ourselves or others, the response is typically of a negative/angered nature. Keep check of your tone and tone response.
o o If we truly want change to happen whether in ourselves or interactions with others, we must be able to listen intently too. Pause with our defense and just listen.
If we are spending time and mental/emotional space on avoiding difficult conversations, we miss out on having space for growth, progress and deeper connection to ourselves and others. We lose opportunities to create environments we can thrive in, and we unfortunately just begin to “survive”.
Can you hold a conversation with yourself or another that allows for you to express your needs or voice a concern/issue while also being productive in nature, building connections and strengthening the environment around you?
As always, here if you need anything!
Xo Coach Danika